Friday, 3 July 2009

Plazma (re-post)

(This post has appeared on my, now defunct, blog Images, Sounds, Memories. I thought it worthy of re-publication here.)

Sound: Obojeni program - Lavor, mesec i pas protiv zidara i mađioničara

Cookie: Plazma

Memory: Not the nicest one can have.

I remember how I was never, ever able to understand the nation's fascination with that horrible edible(?) thing. The most famous, the best selling, the most loved foodstuff of ex-Yugoslavia. Still produced, still sold, and still loved. Same ugly box, same ugly things inside. Shock!

These days you can buy it in pretty much any country where you care to look. If not in a store, then on-line. Today's best price: $2.45 per box. Small one, 150 grams. if you're stingy, have a good appetite, or both, you can also get a 600 gram one. Cheaper, gram for gram. Added bonus? It's gourmet food, too. Horror!

For toothless, babies and OAPs I guess, you can even have it pre-masticated. Ground, to be polite. You: toothless, but happy as you can enjoy your favourite feed. Cookies by the spoon. Thefactory: happier still, making money where it shouldn't. Clever!

It's not that I never tried Plazma cookies. I did. At least twice. Honest. However, never ever have I found in it anything the masses claim it must have. If memory serves, I couldn't even find taste. Any taste, really. Texture? Oh, it has that! Unfortunately. I now know what it must feel like for kids when bullies make them eat sand in the playground.

Maybe that's exactly where the attraction lies!

Too many kids met their local sand-feeding bully. And you know how childhood trauma can be. They bullied you, now you bully them. Not the same them, of course. Other, newer them. Weaker than you. Your kids. They are conveniently handy. If you start with them very young, they'll even start to think they like Plazma cookies. Why would they have it better than you? Let them eat sand and see how it is. Someone has to help them, now that bullies carry guns instead. Ha!

Or perhaps: Lady Fingers used to be more expensive. So Plazma is in fact Lady Finger for the underprivileged masses. And those raised by them, even after they've stopped being underprivileged. I don't know if this price fix is still the case. Shops around here selling Lady Fingers do not sell Plazma cookies. Thank gods!

Whichever way it is, was, or will be, even now when I think of Plazma cookies I have to stop and ask myself, and not without trepidation: Why? Wherefore? Most importantly: Why it bothers me still?I never bothered it. Ever.

Since this morning another thing started bothering me: Why did I have to smear the good name of Obojeni program with this tasteless association? They never did me any wrong. On the contrary, I enjoy their music very much.

And then it dawns on me: on balance, they're likely to love Plazma cookies, too! I feel better now. They deserved it. It's obvious. As obvious as A, B, C, D... Avioni.